The fear of rejection is one of the deepest human fears. Biologically wired with a longing to belong, we fear being seen in a critical way. The prospect of being cut off, demeaned, isolated or insulted has been scientifically proven to be treated as physical pain by our brains. Being encountered with such rejections, I got intimidated by the fact that they might sweep away the dreams I wanted to pursue. Here is a brief and unforgettable personal story on how my revival from a rejection taught me some invaluable lessons.
With an engineering degree at hand, I started my professional journey in 2006. Four years passed by and during that time frame, I got married, switched some companies, some profiles – but all in all living a decent, happy and financially secure life. Particularly, May 2010 was a kind of milestone in my career when I joined a big software services company based out of Noida. The offer and designation were extremely lucrative- in fact, the best that could have happened to me at that stage of my career. I was extremely excited about it!
Exactly a month after I had another milestone, but this time on the personal front- I was pregnant! Needless to say, that was the time of great excitement and ecstasy. I informed seniors at workplace about the tentative time period of my maternity leave and had about eight months to make a place for myself in this still-new-for-me company. Glad to state that these months went very well during which my seniors, colleagues and counterparts had started to recognize my efforts. Consequently, I was marked as a highly critical resource for a five-year long project. Closer to the end of my pregnancy, I had started to deliver planned knowledge sharing sessions to one of my colleagues, and such sharing continued informally for months to come. While being on the maternity break, my beautiful daughter Twisha was born. Like every parent, I am at a loss of words to explain the feeling of embracing my child for the first time in my arms.
After 6 months of break, I joined office back in September 2011. To my utter disappointment, not only was I thrown out of the project but I had also missed the annual appraisal process. It took me a while to realize that from being marked as a highly-critical resource in the company, I have reached a point where I am no longer needed. I wondered if this is the kind of professional world we want to create for women who choose to plan a family! Or do I not have the right to make a career for myself anymore? The law in my resident country India states that no women can be deprived of benefits or pay raises owing to her maternity leave. Armed with that kind of information, I confronted the HR Head of my company. The trick worked and I succeeded. Some weeks thereafter, a minimal 10 percent appraisal plus a new project to work on was offered to me.
Lesson learnt: If you know you are fighting for the right thing, raise your voice. Opportunities are not given, but taken!!
But the story and learning didn’t stop there. After that kind of confrontation, I became a target for the HR Head and since then he looked for opportunities to throw me out of the company. On 19 July 2012, he succeeded and the hell broke down for me- I WAS FIRED! To put it as blatantly as I can- I was depressed, broken, lost all my confidence and what not! But I didn’t regret fighting for my rights. With support from family and friends, I moved on in life. 9 years after that incident, I am happily employed in a leadership position by one of the topmost IT companies in the country.
Lesson learnt: Never loose hope and the best shall happen to you.
But the story and learning yet didn’t end. About a year ago, I received information from one of my ex-colleagues that the same HR Head was also fired. I would be lying if I say that I didn’t wish for it! Nevertheless, that was another moment for me to take in a new teaching.
Lesson learnt: Life comes back as a full circle, you will get what you gave to others.
This award-winning content was originally presented in Toastmasters International Club as a speech.
