She comes into my life like many others who preceded her and about a dozen others who will follow: in the palm of my hand, gleaming on the touchscreen of my phone. Her name is Jasmine and she is 26. Being a few years older, I find her youth alluring. Further increasing my curiosity is the fact that she lives just three kilometers away from me- which has the effect of making her seem more real and approachable, blurring the line between fantasy and reality. I swipe right for her. “Will she like me too?” I think about it for a second.
….. and then soon after get distracted by Monica, the 33-year-old clad in a black sequined evening gown- certainly looking prettier than Jasmine. I swipe right for her too while hoping (sometimes infinitely) that I will find a match! This is how romance sounds like in the lives of digital-savy generation of today. While there are clearly no apprehensions to the notion of online dating, let us dig a bit deeper to comprehend the technology behind it
Why will you never succeed at finding love on dating apps?
As ironic as it may sound, the model of dating apps isn’t based on dating- it never was! Rather it’s all about getting you addicted to the platform. Machine learning algorithms running in the background continue to throw choices at you endlessly- until you make a conscious attempt to stop. If that wasn’t enough, the apps are built based on the concept of Addiction by design. While the pretext is to hook-up, the real pleasure is derived from the swiping process. Since it triggers addictive reward centers in your brain, matching with someone on Tinder or other dating apps will make you feel like you have won a jackpot- and you end up coming back for more.
She loves me, she loves me not!
Apparently, guys don’t know how to ask out for a date and businesses realize this weakness as a huge potential to intensify user engagement. While moving far beyond just suggesting potential partners, the online dating sector is turning to artificial intelligence so to help arrange meetings in real life and act as a dating coach. It would recommend you things to say and suggest places to go on a first date based on several factors such as your location, interest areas and liking. Some of the new-age apps are capable of analysing chats between its users to determine compatibility and nudge them with hints like- ‘Based on her personality inclination she is a traditional person, I would recommend dinner and a walk.’
A Date with your data.
The information we give away may appear to be a little cost to pay for the likelihood of discovering love, however do we know what’s going on in the background? The amount of data collected isn’t astounding, but appalling. Owners of your data know how regularly you connect to others on their platform and at which times, the color of skin that you prefer while looking for a match, which sorts of individuals are keen on you, which words you utilize the most, how much time individuals spend on your profile picture before swiping you etc. Connecting this with your social media profiles unlocks a completely new world. What will happen if this gold mine of data is leaked or made public? Well, not all love stories have a happy ending.
Clearly, the current techno-sexual era has made us evolve from love at first sight to love at first swipe. While we have come far away from the times of newspaper advertisements to online matrimonial services, to the latest offerings of matchmaking mobile apps- the whole process of finding love has not only been digitized, but also sexualised by technology. From the way that it appears to be now, dating market will definitely become more efficient and rational- even if it doesn’t translate into long term relationship success. But hey, do we care? At least our passionate love affair with technology is going stronger each day!
This write-up was originally published on Medium.
