I have always had a sweet tooth since childhood- so much that early on, my mother realised to put on a restriction of one candy per day for me. One fine day, I had cousins at home and we were eating junk like crazy. Even though I had reached my limit of eating candies for that particular day, the craving made me daring enough to ask- mumma, can I eat one more candy plz? At first, she completely ignored my question.
I asked again: “Can I, please?”
She: “Yes, why not! In fact you should have more.
“Me: “Are your serious”?
She: “Of course! I am”
Me: “Yaaaaaaay!!”
Believing her words, I was like a rocket until the refrigerator, picked up my favourite candy, unwrapped it and just when I put it in my mouth I realized a big shadow coming towards me- turned around only to see it was my mum. The only thing I remember afterwards was warmth of someone’s fingers on my right cheek. It was so hard that the very candy I was excited for popped out of my mouth immediately…
I was 5 then and, of course, didn’t understand the concept of body language. Only years later wikipedia taught me that words constitute only 7% of our communication. Rest of 93% is non-verbal – these figures were so striking that I dedicated some of my time to find out more. Typically, body language consists of two major parts: Facial Expressions & Body gestures.
For the purpose of this blog, we will discuss only Facial Expressions. The first thing to remember is that when people talk they look you right in your face- especially the T-Zone which consists of eyes, nose and mouth.
Starting from eyes, they are of prime importance.
Fact: Women talk more with their eyes than men.
Example: Like these two beautiful women here have consciously just said ‘Hi’ to each other and all the other humongous communication is going on under the hood.
WHEREAS men seem not to be taking so much advantage of this…
Guys! you gotta learn something from us! 😉
Next step in the T-zone is nose.
Fact: As a kid, did you ever hear about nose getting bigger when you lie? Scientists prove that to be correct because lying releases a chemical called Catecholamine in our body. This chemical is responsible for changing shape of some of our body parts, and nose is one of them.
Example: No wonder, media released a picture of Bill Clinton with long nose citing this is how he looked while talking about Monica Lewinsky.
Next is mouth.
Fact: We always hear that to be able to make a positive impression, you must smile. Body language expert Mark Bowden says that you make the maximum impact when you smile continuously for 3 or more seconds, instead of just fluttering your smile on and off.
Example: Try it!
Lastly, lets talk about breathing.
Fact: Experts suggest that patterns of breathing very well indicate a person’s state of mind. Breathing fast is a sure sign of nervousness, stress, or even excitement where as slow and deep breathing helps others around you feel more at ease.
Example: If you want to observe incredible breathing, watch a new born. Least affected by stress, they naturally practice deep breathing and visually, you’ll see their belly expands and contracts when they breathe.
If I knew these facts at the age of 5, I am sure my mother’s denial would have been obvious, and might have saved me from some embarrassment. Just to make sure that history doesn’t repeat itself, I tell my daughter to watch out for the following signs:
- Always make a consistent and soft eye contact while you talk.
- Don’t tell lies, else your nose will grow big.
- Smile when you see someone and count 3 on your fingers.
- Most importantly, if mumma is breathing fast- that’s probably not the right time to ask for a favour. 😀
This award-winning content was originally presented in Toastmasters International Club as a speech, a recording of which can be found here.
